Q.
Dear Chelsie,
I have two, two year old fillies. One tries to bite you, and turn her butt to you to kick you. The other is really skittish and it is hard to get close to her, but once you do she will stand still. Do you have any advice? I would love to be able to get their trust and respect. I have tried everything that I know. Thank you very much for your time.
Beth B. from Klamath Falls, OR
A.
Hello Beth,
It is always hard to give advice without seeing your horses, but I am going to tell you a few things that might give you some insight. First, so this answer makes sense, I am going to call the horse that is biting and kicking horse #1, and the other horse that is fearful horse #2.
Horses have a fight or flight response. Meaning that when a horse is afraid they are going to either fight what they are afraid of or they are going to flee from it. Horse #2 sounds like she is the flight kind, running from what she is afraid of. Horse #1 is either a fight horse, meaning that she is just as afraid as horse #2 but she shows it differently, or she is a dominant horse.
Horses are always trying to see who the dominant leader is at any given time. It is their nature to follow a pecking order in the herd and every horse has a place in that pecking order. Some horses are more dominant than others, meaning that they are always trying to reach the top of the pecking order. Horse #2 does not sound like she is a very dominant horse but just needs a leader to follow. Once she trusts in you as a leader, she will open up to you.
Horse #1 is either a fearful horse that is being aggressive because of fear or she is a dominant horse, wanting to be the leader over you. As for her biting, when horses play the dominance games with each other the horse that backs up first loses the game, so when she is biting at you, back her up by wiggling the lead rope. This shows that you won the game. If you hit her for biting she is either going to be fearful of you or she is going to start viewing it as even more of a game. So just back her up a few steps. Her problem about kicking can be helped by doing a disengagement. (Read what a disengagement is on the Q&A page on my website.)
As for being a leader, some people think that they need to get very aggressive with their horses and make them do what ever they want. But a leader should be in a 51% – 49% partnership. You have 51% and your horse has 49%. This means that as a leader (because you have 51%) you make the decisions, but not without talking it over with your partner first and making sure that he is comfortable with what is about to happen. Here’s an example: Sometimes people will say that since they are their horse’s leader, if they want their horse to cross water on the trail the horse should just do it because they say so. But what if that horse is terrified to cross the water? Would it be fair of us to make him do it even when he is afraid? No, because that would break the relationship that we have worked so hard to build with him. It would be better to help your horse see that crossing the water is not going to hurt him and get him confidant enough to willingly cross the water for us. A good leader always takes her horse’s feelings into consideration. Now the water can be anything that you are having a problem with, water is just an example.
Horses need confidence; confidence in people, in surroundings, in themselves, and in you as a leader. We need to help build our horses confidence. How can you tell when your horse is lacking confidence? You can see it in his body. Now consider these things when trying to figure out whether horse #1 is dominant, or is fighting because of fear, lacking confidence.
The signs that you will see in a fearful horse lacking confidence:
1. You will see it in their eyes, their eyes will be wide open, you might even see the whites of the eyes.
2. Their head will be high; when a horse’s head is high they can be on adrenaline.
3. Their body muscles will be tight, they will move their feet a lot or they will stand still like they are a frozen statue.
4. Their tail will be tight and clamped down to their bottom.
Those are just to name some of the main ones, but there are more.
The signs that you will see in a confident horse is:
1. The eyes will be soft and blinking, (if your horses eyes are blinking then his eyes are soft, if they are not blinking this is a sign that he is afraid).
2. His head will be low or even with the withers; neck muscles will be loose and soft.
3. Body muscles will be loose and soft.
4. Tail will be soft and just hanging there, not clamped down and not high over back.
Again these are just to name a few of the signs.
To build confidence in our horses we need to be observant. Horses can’t learn when they are afraid. How can we tell if a horse is becoming more confident and ready to learn? Look for these signs:
1. Blinking of the eyes.
2. Licking of the lips. When a horse licks their lips many people say that that means that the horse is thinking. What it really means is that the horse has gone from fear to relaxation and is now able to think.
3. Head lowering; when a horse puts his head down he is not as able to get on adrenaline.
4. Blowing of the nose; blowing of the nose is a sign that your horse is coming off adrenaline.
Again these are just to name a few of the signs, there are more but you can just focus on these for now.
For horse #2, when you go to catch her, building confidence can be as simple as waiting until you have permission to enter her space. When a horse is looking at us we have permission to enter its space, when it is looking away or starting to look away, we have lost that permission. So, when you walk up to her and she starts to look like she is going to walk away, STOP and just stand there. Try to stop before she moves. Now you are just going to stand there until she looks back at you and gives you permission to get closer to her. If you take a step toward her when you have permission and she starts to look like you lost the permission and looks like she is going to leave, STOP and just stand there again until you have permission again to enter. Patiently repeat the process as needed. This may take time, but done correctly over a few weeks she will lose the fear of you walking up to her. This takes her feelings into consideration and builds her confidence.
If you are interested in setting up a clinic or having private lessons please give me a call or email. Then I could really help you get a wonderful relationship going with your two horses. I am also going to be coming out with some DVD’s this summer on Foundation Level and up. These DVD’s will have all the ground work that you need to do with your horses. Please check the website often to see what is new with me and when I have my DVD’s out.
-Chelsie Kallestad
